My Heart Hurts

I don’t usually watch the news.  I find it annoying, depressing, partisan and just plain lame.   However, I can’t seem to pry myself away from the coverage of the aftermath of the earthquake in Haiti. 

I simply cannot fathom how life is ever going to be ok for the people who live there.  They have so little to begin with and now they have lost everything. 

I was absolutely overwhelmed on Wednesday when I learned about Kristen Howerton and her daughter being stuck there.  I’ve never met her, do not know her, and yet I almost cried when I read her Twitter post yesterday that they were back in the U.S.  Her son Keanan will have to stay there until his adoption is final and it’s hard to say when that will be now that the country’s infrastructure has been completely destroyed.

There are dead bodies lying in the street.  They are being moved to mass graves where they will be buried, most likely without people knowing who they were. 

People who survived the quake are going to die because they can’t get food or water.  There is food and water being flown in from around the world and people can’t get to it because the roads are blocked.

How will they ever rebuild their homes?

This morning I went to the gym, exercised for an hour, took a hot shower and got ready for the day.  My little family went to a really fun birthday party for one of the most amazing little girls I know.  Tonight we’re headed up to the resort town of Park City where I know we’ll have something REALLY yummy for dinner. 

I feel guilty.

How can my life go on like normal while there is so much suffering?  What should I be doing?  We’re going to donate some money.  We have some to spare.  Is that really enough? 

At the same time I don’t feel like I should have stayed home from the gym so I could pour over CNN.com and cry more than I already have and I certainly don’t feel like I should have told Brad he couldn’t go to the birthday party because people are dying in Haiti.

I thank my Heavenly Father every day that I’ve been so very, very blessed.  I know I have it good.  My family is amazing.  I have a nice home and a good job.  I have the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life.  Is saying thank you enough?  I try to serve those around me and be generous with my time and what I’ve been given.  I guess I’m just having a hard time reconciling everything.

I am in awe of those who are more willing to step out of their comfort zone and take the extra step - like Leslie Moss who is a friend of a friend.  She’s putting together hygiene kits that will be sent down to Haiti to help.  Hop on over to her blog for more details and if you would like to help.  I know at this point every little bit counts.